But that is only the first impression. They will turn up for a book club or a journaling meetup, as long as there is a real conversation somewhere in it.

Friendship tends to start somewhere ordinary for them. A train ride, or some random event where a person gives them a reason to keep talking. It gets real slowly, because they need time to think, and they do not want your whole private life handed over on the first evening.

Give them something to actually do and they are in their element. A puzzle table, a bit of DIY, a garden that needs work, an escape room where everybody has a job. Long nights built around drinking wear them out, so a calm plan with a clear end suits them far better.

What pulls them closer is never a big speech. It is the small loose ends in your week, the task you were worried about, the day you could have used a hand. And when words are not helping, they are content to just sit there next to you.

They pull back when plans keep falling through, or when messages stay vague. And they stop trying altogether with people who push their private life into the room too fast, or who care more about looking important than being steady.

Ask them about the perfumes.